Google why people love their work and you’ll find survey after survey that puts colleagues, co-workers and friendships on top.
People love people. Simple as that.
I’ve had great colleagues in the past. But I’ve also had a ‘work wife’ - someone who allows you to bring your whole self to work - and I loved it.
So, a big question for me when entering the freelance writing world was: Can a freelancer have a ‘work wife’?
Of course, there isn’t a soulmate waiting for us in the workplace.
A ‘work wife’ or ‘work spouse’ is simply someone in your professional life who you can trust. Someone who allows you to be your authentic self.
They share your work values and you champion each other.
You hold each other to account, challenging the other to do better. And you work together to broaden and refine your shared skillset.
They empower you to come to work and say: ‘I’m having a shitty time, please bear with me.’ And respond with: ‘That’s okay, how can I help?’
This is the kind of mutual support I feared would be lost in a solo career.
Is it even a good thing to mix personal with professional? We’ve all heard the cautionary tale: ‘don’t bring your personal life to work’.
But it’s just not possible!
We carry our emotions everywhere - the things that worry us, the things that we’re proud of, the people we care about. We can’t simply disengage from whatever is going on at home.
And if you’re a freelancer, the chances are your work is your home. The chances are, your personal and professional life are tightly interwoven.
So when you meet other freelancers, you often get a glimpse of their personal life. You learn what they’re juggling, how their responsibilities are divided, what their working patterns are, and where they’re based.
Before my freelance career, my first insight into this was during the pandemic. I was sent home to work and was aware of my co-workers' personal lives for the first time. Instead of seeing ‘office them’, I saw their homes, their children, their pets.
And I saw a correlation with the amount of support I received. We offered to take on extra work for each other, we predicted when team members might be feeling stretched, we actively spoke about what was going on at home and how it was impacting our work.
In lots of ways, the blend between personal and professional was better.
Having a ‘work wife’ is not about rocking up to a physical place of work and playing house all day. It’s about surrounding yourself with people who allow you to be authentically ‘you’.
It’s about prioritising friendship over competition.
I’m pretty new in the freelance writing space, but I’ve found them to be ‘friendship’ people so far. They’ve opened up their networks to me, shared tips, and encouraged me to pursue new things.
As freelancers, you’re still part of a community. You can support each other and hold each other to account. You can be honest with each other, share frustrations and challenges. You can raise the stakes, by upskilling yourself and those around you.
And you can form great friendships.
We’re all living lives outside of our work. I’ve had much greater successes in my professional life when working with people who acknowledge that fact.
Surround yourself with people you can trust - who champion you, challenge you, support you, hold you to account, and allow you to be your authentic self.
I wish you many long and happy marriages 😉